I wonder why people enjoy wearing masks?? How can they relish the moment sharing laughs with someone who'll they back stab in the future anyway? or already back stabbing.. How the heck can they bare sharing hearty laughs in other people's grief or pain?? With that kind of behavior, do they even deserve to be called people? I hate being surrounded with fake faces,fake people, and fake friendship. Its hard to be normal, so I'd rather not to be, especially if being normal is hurting other people for an individual interest and entertainment. I don't find it funny, and I don't find it amusing. If they think they are being famous for being such a bully or plain "jerk", boy, I pity the size of their brain. Well, what goes around, comes around anyway.. ♫

Blah! Blah! Blah!

 This is the first time that I've really ever thought of creating a blog.

Location : GnGn English Teaching Center

                Goodwill Building 

Time : 5:21 pm         Manila Time

          6:21 pm         Tokyo Time

I was actually in the middle of studying Japanese while I still don't have bookings for the following sessions and my next class is still an hour away.

While I was browsing my book and force feeding my brain, I came across an article in the web entitled : Types of Friends, and this what caught my attention the most...

Best friend (or close friend): a person(s) with whom someone shares extremely strong interpersonal ties with as a friend.

Boston marriage: an American term used in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries to denote two women that lived together in the same household independent of male support. 

Why? Because people had been bugging me for the past week now. I always spend my day with my best friend. I always see to it that I get to spend time with her and catch up with the happening with each other. We built our dreams together and planned the future together. We promised to stay the same and watch each other's back  until we get old. I was so happy and blessed to have found a soul mate. A completely different person that deeply understands the part of me that others fail to do so.  I found a person to laugh with during my childish moments and cry with when reality  gets the best out of me. We shared most of the precious moments I have right now, and planned to do in the future. But, why will I lose someone just in a snap?? O_____O

Wait.. Hold up.. Why am I even asking this question?

My best friend owns a huge portion of me, in heart, in mind and in soul. I figured  what i want to be because of her. I found the path I want to take because of her. I'm no longer a tramp. I found directions when I thought I'll just go with the flow...

And so??

Yeah.. Well, what's bothering me is the polluted mind that surrounds me. [ Actually, not just IS, but ARE!! U.U ] I know what I want to be. I know what I am, and I know what I will be ( at least perhaps I do ^^ ). No one can hold me back to chase  my dreams. No one can ever tell me what I should be and ever poke me around to control what I will do. This is my life. I have decided where to take my first step. I have decided  what I am to do with the next 2 years of my life ( Just 2. The rest is to follow.. Nyahahaha! Well it depends with the outcome of the first  two of course!!! ). I just hope the very person I pulled this strength and faith from is still with me. I hope we are still in this together. With the impurity of the mind that affects her I hope this person knows better [ at least I know she does ^^ ]. 

I know this blog is not the ideal one for a first, but 1 is enough ( oneesan ) to doubt what I am. 2 is too much for another person ( uwayaku ) to look forward and say that I will have something I am not considering right now. 3 is a poison that's slowly creeping up my veins and making a mark in my head " I will be something completely different than what I am working on to be in the future ". Crap! Rubbish! Bull! I  know what I am. I will work my ass to be what I want to be. And not because I'm single doesn't mean my preference changed for heaven's sake. 

With a sudden loss of a friend,  it just made me stronger to catch what my heart desires and my faith bigger than what it was. My will to be what I want to be is yet to get massive. No one can stop me. I won't allow it. No matter what.